User blog comment:The Zero of Faram/Guardians' Peril: Chapter 2/@comment-67.82.64.153-20150507030435

Wow, you were right about the 'more intense' part. My only qualms with this though are that Rayden and Alyut's arguement got way too heated way too fast. It was kinda irrational. If you added more expression, it would be easier to understand. When Alyut said that he could force Rayden to jump into lava, did he mean is seriously or is it just something that he said out of annoyance? I support Alyut's decision, from what you wrote it as, though I think you tried to make Rayden the protagonist. The last paragraph was a bit choppy and excessive when you're describing it. But otherwise, I really like where this is going. I can sense a lot of plot that hasn't been written yet, and I can't wait to see your next chapter!