User blog comment:Carol of the bells/Days of Ruin --- Zen's exile part 4/@comment-25002135-20150116003355

I have to say your chapters are quite short. Not that it's a bad thing, though. I just personally prefer longer chapters.

It's a bit clear to me that this chapter is leading up to when Karl and Zen meet. You also did a good job displaying how stubborn Zen still is in her self-destructive quest to get what she believes is true strength; this not something very easy to do. Showing, rather than telling, is always better, but it's something a lot of people seem to have trouble with, including me, so that's commendable.

On the other hand, I do kind of want more detail. Flesh out the story a bit more, you know? You have a way of directly describing everything, always getting straight to the point. In essays and etc, this kind of writing is highly desirable, but for stories, sometimes you want to use more descriptive language and go a bit more slowly through the scenes, you know? But not too slow, that's also undesirable. Finding a good pace is important, too.

Anyway, keep up the good work.