User blog:Selena & Lexida/I need some Opinions about This Story Im wrting about my Bf hIstory and BF main Story line

http://pastebin.com/Zdmpu0Kz There's The Link to it I hope i get some feeed back on it I would really love some insight to. Also would be really helpful if someone could animate this i wanted this to be a visual type of thing but i have no artisitic bone in me.